drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
