I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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