Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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