Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
