Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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