It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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