Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize