i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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