Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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