My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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