Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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