I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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