so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
