I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize