so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
