dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
