I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
