It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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