I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
two words...techno handjob
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
How external is "for external use only"?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
