Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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