Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
