are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize