Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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