I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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