You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
