i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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