sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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