I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
