I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
