I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
