You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
