just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize