This girl is more easily done than said...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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