JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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