check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
