No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
