The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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