She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
