I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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