Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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