Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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