we have officially lost it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
