He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
