he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
