Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
