Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
