All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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