brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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