My first STD was from a foam party
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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