I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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