Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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