You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
