yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
