Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
