i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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