Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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