My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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