it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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