Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize