Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
not ubering you a puppy
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