Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
