I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
